Man it’s getting rough out there, moms! There are a lot of judgemental meanies running around and you better have some thick skin if you want to be a mom these days. A few weeks ago, I wrote an article on Mommy Nearest called, “5 Mom Shaming Trends that Need to Stop Now,” that went viral on the Huffington Post. Like thousands of shares and international viral. At first, I was excited – holy sh** everyone loves my article!
But then it made me sad.
The reason this article was so popular wasn’t because I a brilliant writer, it’s because I struck a cord with so many moms worldwide. A painful cord. That means all these moms could relate to being shamed and that made me realize it’s a f*cking rough world out there. And when did it get that way? Like we don’t have enough issues in the world that we have to hate on ourselves for our parenting styles? Like seriously? It’s high school drama for moms!
Having thick skin myself, I have never been afraid to speak my mind or stand strong on my opinions, but I realized that many moms are not. And a lot of the things we say and do can really hurt other people.
My problem with this?
HELLO WE ARE MOMS. WE ARE ROLE MODELS. WE ARE RAISING OUR FUTURE GENERATIONS.
And if we’re all acting like a**holes – how do we expect our children to turn out?
Think about it.
So a couple weeks ago I spoke at The Mom Con in Pittsburgh, and I made this the topic of my speech. It’s been proven throughout history and cultures that “it takes a village” to raise a child, so seriously can we just STOP with the unrealistic super mom status? It doesn’t exist and all it’s doing is stressing us all the F out – and heart disease is already the #1 killer among women – do we really NEED that extra stress on our hearts? NO.
So – as I talked about in my speech, I want you to join the movement of the #VirtualVillage.
I want you to literally stop yourself on the street the next time you see another mom stroll past and just say – HEY. YOURE DOING A GREAT EFFIN JOB. Okay, well maybe you don’t have to swear at her, but you get the point. Imagine if a stranger did this to you? Wouldn’t you feel like a million f*cking dollars?
Let me give you a few examples:
Personally, these have happened to me:
1. Did you ever read about the time a stranger bought mine and Maximo’s dinner on Valentine’s Day? They wrote on the receipt that I was an amazing mom. I cried. I still have the receipt pinned to my wall in front of my desk to look at and remind me everyday. People are watching. They see you be a great mom, but they just need to SAY it more.
2. One time I was breastfeeding Max in Lincoln Center, one of the busiest squares in NYC. As I sat there in the little green chair as people swished by, one lady stopped and commended me on breastfeeding in public. She said I was helping other women overcome a fear as they watched me, and I might not even know it. I beamed with joy. Like I said, people are always watching, but if we spoke up more about the POSITIVE things happening, don’t you think it would start to trickle down a little more?
So my point is. Seriously, stop being such an asshole. I know I am guilty, too. But I am going to make a step to be more proactive, and I want you to as well!
Like I told all the moms at The Mom Con – I want you to tweet me or Instagram me and hashtag #virtualvillage. You can find me on both as @citymomsecrets. I want to see all the good you’re doing in the world, and I promise I’ll share it – I want it to keep being shared. If enough of us get out there and do it, maybe enough moms will see it that THEY will do good for another mom, and so on and so on, until at least for that one moment, a mom won’t feel shamed, she’ll feel empowered.
And that my friends, is A LOT more powerful than putting someone down.
[tweet_box]Stop being an a**hole. Your child is watching.[/tweet_box]